Reason Bride Is Banning 5-Year-Old Sister From Wedding Cheered

A bride-to-be has sparked controversy after taking the extraordinary step of banning her 5-year-old sister from her wedding.

Americans remain firmly divided over whether children should be involved in weddings. In a YouGov survey of 1,295 U.S. adults, 41 percent of respondents approved of the idea of the happy couple asking guests not to bring children to their nuptials compared with 37 percent opposed to the idea.

This particular bride's situation is a little more complicated. Writing in a post shared to Reddit under the handle u/flowergirltherapy, the woman revealed she is banning just one child from her wedding: her 5-year-old sister Evie, who she claims to love "more than anything in the world."

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The woman said that over the past few months, she and her fiance have regularly looked after Evie and two other young siblings, with few issues. "My fiancé and I watch the kids after school every day and they spend the night with us 2-4 days a week," she wrote.

The problems started six months ago, after her fiance proposed. While most of the family was happy and excited, Evie was "furious."

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"She started crying and hitting me because she wanted to marry him and if I marry him she can't," the woman said. "She refused to speak to me for almost a week and now she's mostly ok but she gets mad at me and starts crying and hitting me any time she sees me kiss him."

The wedding is in September and the bride at the moment wants her sister to play no part in it. "She was supposed to be our flower girl but I really don't think she'll be able to sit through the wedding without some kind of outburst so I called our dad, told him about all of this, and said that she won't be allowed to attend the wedding unless she starts seeing a therapist before the wedding," she said.

According to the post, the father of the bride is insisting she does not need therapy and is "just a 5 year old with a crush on my fiancé." He accused the bride of "overreacting" and told her "she won't forgive me" if they decide to exclude her.

"We've talked about her behavior, her feelings, that what she's doing isn't acceptable," the woman said. "She goes to timeout right when she starts hitting and kicking, she loses toys, she's left outings early, and my fiance refuses to play with her after because he doesn't play with anyone that hits. This is not normal."

Dr. Christopher Hansen, licensed professional counselor who specializes in relationships and coping skills with Thriveworks, a nationwide mental health provider offering therapy services in-person and online, told Newsweek: "A five year old having a crush on somebody isn't abnormal at all. What strikes and concerns me is the fact that even after talking with her, she is still having issues and acting out so I do agree therapy would be a good choice to see if there's something more going on with this young child than simple jealousy."

Hansen also felt it was important to destigmatize the idea of seeking professional help. "Just because she sees a therapist does not mean she's mentally ill or has a mental problem," he said. "I think due diligence here is required and if she were my five year old I would definitely send her to a therapist to see if they might be able to gain some insight into her behavior that we have not thought of or tried."

He felt that, should her behavior continue, it might be best if she does not attend the wedding: "The very fact that the family feels they have tried everything leads me to that concern," Hansen said.

He added that while the 5-year-old might be upset for a period of time, things would ultimately calm down. "I don't think the bride is overreacting and is simply concerned about her sister's behavior ruining her wedding. I think the best course of action is sending her to be evaluated; then, depending on what the therapist says, develop a plan of action to address her behavior."

Many commenting on Reddit were inclined to agree. One user wrote: "You deserve to have a nice day BUT she needs therapy." A second concurred, writing: "Dig your heels in on this one. Obviously there's more at play here than this story, but regardless you should not be enabling anything that might derail your wedding." A third added: "Preventing a potentially disruptive person from attending a wedding ... it's one of the most basic things you're allowed to do."

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