'Well-Off' Grandma Refusing to Babysit Unless She's Paid Sparks Debate

While many people might love being grandparents and gladly take on the responsibilities, one woman has sparked a debate after demanding to be paid to babysit her grandchild.

In a Reddit post, shared by user u/getDoor21 on August 29, the single mom wrote that she was refusing to pay her mother to babysit her 8-year-old daughter, something she had always done for free previously.

She added: "Last week, I told my mother than I needed her to watch my daughter for a couple hours while I did some errands. And she told me that she won't continue to babysit my daughter unless I start paying her for every hour, not just for the long trips."

While the babysitting duties are normally only for a few hours at a time, the Reddit poster wrote that sometimes she has to go away for around a week with work. On those occasions, she has a rate of $115 per day for her mom's efforts. However, the request for an hourly rate to cover every time the mother babysits has angered the Reddit poster, who wrote that they got into a pretty heated argument.

The grandmother's request to be reimbursed for her time has created an awkward rift, but childcare advocate and author Florence Ann Romano told Newsweek that she's "not out of bounds to be requesting payment."

The cost of childcare is a burden for many parents, as the U.S. Department of Labor Women's Bureau estimates that parents pay between 8 and 19 percent of their income on childcare, per child. In 2018, they paid between $4,810 and $15,417 a year on childcare, and it shows very little sign of decreasing.

That is why grandparents are a babysitting savior for many families, potentially saving thousands of dollars a month on childcare bills.

A survey by the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) in 2018 revealed that 38 percent of grandparents consider themselves a daycare provider for their grandchildren. Additionally, the data highlighted that 4 percent of grandparents are primary caregivers, and 11 percent live in the same household as their grandchild.

Romano said that the grandmother has every right to seek money if she feels it is warranted, but that an honest conversation needs to be had with both women.

She added: "Another dialogue is needed, that is obvious. The way to set up the conversation is by the daughter apologizing for her part in the argument, offering her gratitude for her mother's support to date.

"Times are different today regarding grandparents and childcare," Romano said. "Just like parents pay a nanny or a daycare, grandparents are also providing a service. It's a personal decision for every family how the grandparents are, or are not, compensated."

Romano also countered the Reddit user's suggestion that her mom should be glad to spend time with the granddaughter, regardless of money, as it's trying to guilt her into it.

After the poster's initial protestations about paying her well-off mom to babysit, a friend of hers told that she should indeed pay for the childcare, regardless of who is providing it.

The grandmother's request has conflicted many social media users, leading to a heated debate. The Reddit post has gone viral with more than 7,000 votes and over 7,000 comments too in a matter of days.

A comment by u/destiny_kate48 reads: "Guaranteed mom is sick and tired of her daughter telling her she HAS to babysit. It's not about the money, it's about being tired of her kid taking advantage of her."

Reddit user u/ResurrectionScary commented: "Pay people for their time or do the work yourself. And you chose to have a kid, that means it's YOUR job, not your mother's, to manage her."

Additionally, u/Life-Onion-5698 wrote: "My mom will drop everything for my kid, and we're not well off. However, my mom still appreciates being asked if she can vs expected to watch her."

Newsweek reached out to u/getDoor21 via Reddit for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

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