Man Ghosting Girlfriend Over What She Did While He Was Driving Backed

Crossing boundaries is a commonly cited relationship problem—but for one couple, it nearly had dire consequences.

A post to Reddit's "Am I The A******?" forum by u/Few_Relative4595 asked whether or not he was justified in ghosting his girlfriend after she tickled him while driving, causing a car accident.

The original poster (OP) took to the internet to discuss issues of crossed boundaries and safety which caused an irreparable rift in the relationship.

"I took a day off from work and took my girlfriend on a short trip outside the city," the OP wrote in the post. "On the way home, I started talking about how happy I felt with how the [car] paint job turned out and, out of nowhere, she starts tickling me. I pushed her hand away and told her to stop, then she reached for my ribs with both hands and got me swerving off the road."

The OP said the car suffered some deep scratches, but nobody was hurt. And despite the blatant compromise of safety, there was another issue at play: The OP had previously, repeatedly and explicitly, told his girlfriend never to tickle him. The crossing of boundaries sent him over the edge.

"When we got home, I told her to pack her things and go to her best friend, but she threw a tantrum and begged me to forgive her for 'a little mistake,'" he wrote. "I didn't say a word, I simply stared in disgust and pointed to her luggage...she's been blowing up my phone ever since, but I haven't answered any calls or texts and just blocked her."

The OP said that his girlfriend's friend came to his house and told him that it seemed he loved his car more than his girlfriend.

'Too Late Now'

Newsweek spoke to licensed sexologist and relationship therapist Sofie Roos about why the OP may have reacted this way, and what crossed boundaries spell for the health of a relationship.

"I meet so many couples who seek professional help because they are struggling with one of them not respecting when their partner draws the line, and when they seek for help, it many times has gone way too far already," she said. "In cases like this, limits are often pushed to where it becomes an emotional or physical catastrophe, and it always begins with small things like this."

Roos said that sometimes, small boundaries aren't taken seriously even though they may point to deeper pains that someone may not want to discuss explicitly.

"Everyone has their backpack," she said. "Most often, no one, not even the one who's carrying it, understands what's really inside that backpack."

So, when partners express what they can, it's up to the other person to take it seriously.

"Even if it's about something 'small' or 'silly,' a partner not respecting when the other one says stop, shows lack of respect on a level that will or already permeate the whole relationship," Roos said, adding that while the couple could have worked it out before the accident, it was "too late now."

This seemed to be the OP's perspective, too. In a follow-up post, he wrote that he formally ended things with his now-ex over the situation—which echoed the sentiment of many in the comments section.

"The kicker for me was she did it a second time after you told her to stop. OP, you may have many girlfriends over the years, but you will only have one life," one person wrote.

"OP, your ex-gf is a dangerous fool," another said. "She could have killed you both, and innocents in other vehicles, and/or pedestrians, as well! She needs to learn this lesson well, and your dumping her like this will be the best teacher."

Newsweek reached out to u/Few_Relative4595 for comment via Reddit. We could not verify the details of the case.