SCOTT SIMON, HOST:
How do you honor a legend? Paul Powell was an Illinois secretary of state and a former speaker of the Statehouse, who famously picked up the scent of political deals and said, (imitating Paul Powell) I can smell the meat a-cooking. He left behind plenty of smoke and pork. When Paul Powell died in 1970, about $800,000 in cash was discovered in shoe boxes and attache cases in his closets. He also had a million dollars in racetrack stock. Horse racing is a state-regulated enterprise.
I just stored baseball cards in shoe boxes. Why didn't I think bigger? The IRS, lawyers and the state of Illinois took their cut of Paul Powell's ill-gotten gains, and the rest of his estate has been used to maintain his home in southern Illinois as a museum for his memorabilia - shoe box not included. But that fund is run out. Paul Powell's home may go on the block.
A University of Illinois study finds that despite all vows to abolish shoe box and pork barrel politics, Chicago remains the most corrupt city in the nation. Judged by the per capita number of indicted officials, Illinois is the third most corrupt state. Four of Illinois' last 10 governors have gone to prison - three Democrats and one Republican. It says Land of Lincoln on state license plates, but perhaps there should be fine print below - hand-crafted by a former governor.
I will attest, as a son of Illinois, that many citizens are appalled by corruption. Yet we can also be slightly proud when the Cubs, Bulls and Bears have losing seasons. In the league of political corruption, we're still champs.
Maybe Illinois should just embrace its history and establish the site of Paul Powell's old home in southern Illinois as a theme park for political profiteering. Call it Payola World. Instead of a ride called Pirates of the Caribbean, Pirates of Vienna, Ill. Children can pose behind iron bars alongside AI reproductions of convicted public officials. Smile kids. Say shoe boxes. Disney theme parks offer a princess experience where children in tiaras can meet actors costumed as Jasmine, Belle or Elsa. Why not a governor's experience at Payola World? Families can slip cash to someone in a suit with perfect hair who can tell them, as Governor Rod Blagojevich once said about the chance to appoint someone to an open U.S. Senate seat, I've got this thing, and it's effing golden. And of course, there'll be a restaurant at Payola World. You know what they have to serve? Pork.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "THE PORKCHOP SONG")
GUITAR SHORTY: (Singing) Break me off a piece of that pork chop, baby. Break me off a piece of that meat. Break me off a piece of that pork chop, baby. Looks good enough to eat. Break me off a piece of that pork chop, baby. Break me off a piece of that meat.
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