>
J. Don Birnam
Tomatometer-approved critic
I am a lifelong fan of all forms of cinema from historical epics to classics from the 1940s through the 1970s. I am a voting member of the New York Film Critics Online group and of the Gay & Lesbian Entertainment Critics Association. I love attending film festivals over the world, travelling, and I sometimes moonlight as a lawyer. I am a fan of international and LGBT films. I was born and raised mostly in Mexico.
Movies reviews only
| Rating | T-Meter | Title | Year | Review |
|---|---|---|---|
|
|
Dune: Part Two (2024) |
A stunning below the line masterpiece that takes surprising and even dark tones, with brilliant performances by Chalamet and Ferguson, even if the story goes by very fast at the core of the film. - Above the Line
Read More
| Posted Feb 22, 2024
|
|
|
|
Lisa Frankenstein (2024) |
A monstrously stitched together film that lacks life and that cannot be brought back to life by even the most electric Hollywood magic - Above the Line
Read More
| Posted Feb 07, 2024
|
|
|
|
Mean Girls (2024) |
Fey both saws off the edges of her original script (unfortunately) and adds a few gags that she had clearly left in the tank (thankfully), resulting in a movie that has no reason to exist but whose source material - Above the Line
Read More
| Posted Jan 11, 2024
|
|
|
|
Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom (2023) |
Not one part of this movie--the effects, the storyline, the emotional core--works. Everything is recycled from other superhero movies. It's time to give the genre an at sea burial. - Above the Line
Read More
| Posted Dec 21, 2023
|
|
|
|
The Color Purple (2023) |
The problem stems from the source from which this version is adapted—the musical. Taking out the emotional core of the story--the horrific suffering of the protagonists--in place of song and dance, does just that-eliminate the emotional core of the story. - Above the Line
Read More
| Posted Dec 19, 2023
|
|
|
|
Wonka (2023) |
One possible way of measuring whether a prequel is a good movie is whether it makes you want to revisit the old original. The new Warner Bros. film, Wonka, makes you watch not only the original but also this worthy successor, again, and again. - Above the Line
Read More
| Posted Dec 19, 2023
|
|
|
|
The Boys in the Boat (2023) |
The Boys in the Boat is a solidly enjoyable family film, though a few beats are too familiar. - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted Dec 16, 2023
|
|
|
|
Napoleon (2023) |
It's a stunning, masterpiece of battlefield story-telling, and a middling, confused, confusing, and erratic piece everywhere else. Watch on the big screen or not at all. - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted Nov 22, 2023
|
|
|
|
Next Goal Wins (2023) |
This paint-by-numbers sports triumph comedy is simple and amusing enough, with solipsistic director Taika Waititi mostly out of his own way - Above the Line
Read More
| Posted Nov 18, 2023
|
|
|
|
The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes (2023) |
A highly entertaining film with the signature, luscious costumes and sets, this "Hunger Games" prequel nevertheless stumbles with the uneven story of the franchise's main villain's origin story - Above the Line
Read More
| Posted Nov 18, 2023
|
|
|
|
The Marvels (2023) |
In this simple, entertaining sequel, Captain Marvel has grown past her wobbly origin story and into a bond with two other impressive women who make her temporary team - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted Nov 17, 2023
|
|
|
|
Ferrari (2023) |
Though sputtering at first, by the time the credits roll around, Ferrari’s engines fire on all cylinders, packing an emotional punch that sneaks up on you. All three of the main characters end up being surprisingly sympathetic and expertly portrayed - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted Nov 06, 2023
|
|
|
|
Killers of the Flower Moon (2023) |
No one likes storytelling as much as Martin Scorsese does, which means there can be no greater living American director. In this film, he paints a vivid picture of a fascinating tale without missing a single beat - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted Nov 06, 2023
|
|
|
|
May December (2023) |
Todd Haynes takes it to the next level in his talent of complex adult dramas with intimate and profound portrayals, in this Julianne Moore and Natalie Portman vehicle about desire - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted Nov 06, 2023
|
|
|
|
Five Nights at Freddy's (2023) |
So little makes sense in this utterly predictable film, that it makes even the few and far between legit scare sequences not worth it - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted Nov 06, 2023
|
|
|
|
The Creator (2023) |
The stunning aesthetics notwithstanding, Garett Edwards' follow-up to "Rogue One" flounders on a confused, predictable, and frustratingly illogical script--committing the cardinal sin of sci-fi films of not sticking to the rules of its own universe - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted Sep 30, 2023
|
|
|
|
All of Us Strangers (2023) |
Haigh more than furthered himself, and the growing canon of queer fantastical films has gained one of its most important entries to date. - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted Sep 22, 2023
|
|
|
|
Finestkind (2023) |
Finestkind’s inability to coalesce around a single message, or deliver a power morale, is ultimately its undoing. - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted Sep 13, 2023
|
|
|
|
A Haunting in Venice (2023) |
With his latest adaptation of an Agatha Christie novel, Branagh’s third in the director’s chair and in front of the camera, the thespian cements his status as the definitive Christie whisperer of the 21st century. - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted Sep 13, 2023
|
|
|
|
Ezra (2023) |
A thoughtful, emotional film about the evolving relationships between fathers and sons and about coping with different-ness, with a moving performance by Bobby Cannavale and Robert DeNiro - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted Sep 13, 2023
|
|
|
|
Rustin (2023) |
Colman Domingo submerges himself into the titular civil rights hero who was erased from history for being gay, even though the script for the film is surprisingly bland for such an incredible story - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted Sep 07, 2023
|
|
|
|
The Holdovers (2023) |
Paul Giamatti is incredibly moving and Da'Vine Joy Randolph is a revelation in this intimate and moving (while quirky) portrayal of three very different people finding solace for their solitude in each other - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted Sep 07, 2023
|
|
|
|
Poor Things (2023) |
Yorgos Lanthimos and Emma Stone deliver the movies of their lives in this stunning reimagining of Mary Shelley's Frankenstein that is more about life itself than the Victorian/Gothic original - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted Sep 07, 2023
|
|
|
|
Saltburn (2023) |
Saltburn does not quite show the, eh, promise of the Promising Young Woman's director's obvious talent in that it tells a mostly predictable story but it is a highly entertaining and visually delightful picture nonetheless - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted Sep 07, 2023
|
|
|
|
Guy Ritchie's The Covenant (2023) |
The serious melodrama falters when it becomes little more than an action movie devoid of the melodrama. - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted May 23, 2023
|
|
|
|
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (2023) |
The animals are cute, but the action is predictable and inconsequential as the Marvel Universe struggles to find a footing into the realm originality as it enters 30+ films. - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted May 23, 2023
|
|
|
|
Fast X (2023) |
The plot is too bloated by an enlarged cast, all of whom demand moments to shine in the sun, and a desire to outdo the prior installment's over the top special effects. - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted May 23, 2023
|
|
|
|
The Little Mermaid (2023) |
The live action version gives more emotional depth to the story while some of the effects felt a bit shallow. Awkwafina is alone a reason to watch the tale that remains timeless. - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted May 23, 2023
|
|
|
|
Air (2023) |
It's a very compelling story, but Affleck's focus is always on the least interesting characters -- presumably the ones he identifies with the most? - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted Apr 19, 2023
|
|
|
|
The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023) |
It's very entertaining for children and Nintendo fans, but the story is as deep as a Super Mario puddle and the throwaway references too sparse to even matter. - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted Apr 19, 2023
|
|
|
|
Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023) |
The only question is why it took so long to create a low-stakes but also highly amusing version of this long-running fan favorite. Chris Pine was perfectly cast. - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted Apr 05, 2023
|
|
|
|
Shazam! Fury of the Gods (2023) |
Helen Mirren and Lucy Liu give it their all, but the childishness and lack of consequence renders even the coolest action sequences and effects meaningless - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted Apr 05, 2023
|
|
|
|
Scream VI (2023) |
The franchise manages to stay entertaining with freshly inventive horror sequences, but its failure to adhere to its own self-professed "rules" for who should die in a sequel spells trouble and could spell further problems. - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted Apr 05, 2023
|
|
|
|
John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023) |
If there were an Oscar for "best headshot effects" this movie would win it. And its over the top, senseless and overly long plot would lost it every other accolade possible. - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted Apr 05, 2023
|
|
|
|
Ant-Man and The Wasp: Quantumania (2023) |
In a universe with 20+ films, one of them has to be the worst, and Quantamania is a strong contender for that inauspicious title, lacking any emotional mooring or reason to care whatsoever - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted Feb 25, 2023
|
|
|
|
Magic Mike's Last Dance (2023) |
The emperor has no clothes, and neither does the stripper...the joy of stripping and exploring sensuality is completely eradicated by a film that was groundbreaking in the early 2010s and too afraid of hyper-sensitive sexual taboos in 2023 - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted Feb 25, 2023
|
|
|
|
Knock at the Cabin (2023) |
Though at times you want it to deliver more on its promise, the conclusion sticks the landing in ways few Shayamalan films of late have managed to - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted Feb 25, 2023
|
|
|
|
The Son (2022) |
It's very simple: Do not watch this film, not even with its noteworthy cast. This is pointless, unadulterated suffering, unmoored from any sense of self or reality. - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted Feb 25, 2023
|
|
|
|
Cocaine Bear (2023) |
It's a preposterous film that is preposterously funny and never commits the cardinal sin of these types of movies: taking itself too seriously (because, it's not) - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted Feb 25, 2023
|
|
|
|
Plane (2023) |
It's called "Plane" but it could be called "Island" or "Guns" or just "Another Gerald Butler Movie" -- it's entertaining, but it's just that derivative and unexceptional - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted Jan 13, 2023
|
|
|
|
Babylon (2022) |
A lot of bells and whistles -- an admittedly superb acting -- amount to very little, in a movie whose plot about the downfall of great actors is mostly a rethread. - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted Dec 19, 2022
|
|
|
|
The Whale (2022) |
This film is well crafted and well-acted, though questions about its purpose - why is this difficult movie about a very difficult man even made - unanswered. - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted Dec 13, 2022
|
|
|
|
Violent Night (2022) |
There is a brilliant sequence that re-imagines what would have really happened to the bad guys in "Home Alone" had the traps been real, but the rest is just pointless violent and unlikable characters from Santa to Scrooge - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted Dec 08, 2022
|
|
|
|
Armageddon Time (2022) |
One of the most beautiful coming of age biopics in recent memory, it showcases Hollywood finally realizing that a lot of the trends that trouble the industry socio-politically began not in the 2020s but in the 1980s - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted Dec 08, 2022
|
|
|
|
Bones and All (2022) |
A brilliant third act is too little, too late, for this movie that has a shockingly shallow moral compass and disturbing comparisons of cannibalism to other innate human conditions - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted Dec 08, 2022
|
|
|
|
White Noise (2022) |
It's simply not as clever as it thinks it is, and the white noise inevitably drowns out any sense of plot or reason to care about these self-important characters - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted Dec 08, 2022
|
|
|
|
Spoiler Alert (2022) |
A heart-warming, personal tale, though one that is difficult to watch given its inherent sadness. Sally Field shines through as she always does in family dramas - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted Dec 08, 2022
|
|
|
|
Nanny (2022) |
Few films manage to employ such a quiet story to tell it in such a powerful way. - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted Nov 10, 2022
|
|
|
|
Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022) |
Great acting by Lupita Nyong'o and Danai Gurira, plus spectacular costumes by Ruth Carter, save this movie whose central plotline of enmity between two colonized peoples is meandering and unconvincing - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted Nov 10, 2022
|
|
|
|
Halloween Ends (2022) |
Laurie Strode and Michael Myers' tortured relationship comes to a close (maybe) in a movie that picks up some of the themes about good and evil but in a softer way - Below the Line
Read More
| Posted Oct 26, 2022
|