What's It Like to Get Dumped in the Middle of the Ocean?

In a ranking of the worst places to break up, a cruise ship in the middle of the ocean must be ranked very high. There's a limited number of places to escape to, you're almost always stuck in the same bed with them, and every miserable minute you spend in your ex paramour's company costs a lot of money.

But cruises are also a perfect storm for insurmountable relationship conflicts. Drink packages mean you are more likely to be a little tipsy, the hot sun will make you tired, the aforementioned costs will make you stressed, and the close quarters will force you to face each other's flaws. Unsurprisingly, when I asked Reddit, "Have you ever broken up on a long cruise?" There were dozens of answers—over 200, actually.

There was the kid who found out ten years later that the cause of his aunt and uncle's divorce was that his uncle and the family au pair were caught by his aunt in a little afternoon delight. "When my uncle and the au pair tried to talk to my aunt all she said was 'I better not see you two together for the rest of the cruise or I'll throw your passports away in the next port.' Rooms were rearranged."

Or the couple that publicly argued for the first 14 days of the cruise, only to get engaged on the 14th day, in Paris. The engagement surprised all their fellow cruisers, who were confident they would witness a breakup instead.

As one Redditor detailed, a first-hand account of a mid-cruise breakup made it seem less awful than we might think. "Broke up on a Mediterranean cruise bc I told my girlfriend to shut up while a tour guide was talking. Did not go over well, although my rudeness was in reaction to hers," the poster detailed.

"We had a few days left. Relationship was sort of doomed anyway, so we talked it out and decided to call it quits. No more fighting or anything, so it worked out," the posts continued. "While it sounds awful, once we made the decision, we had a pretty good time. I wouldn't recommend it though."

There were endless accounts for various types of breakups, breakdowns, and screaming matches—done in the very public venue of a packed cruise ship.

Most everyone had the same advice: It would have probably been more enjoyable not to go on a cruise with someone you break up with, but if you can occupy yourself with other activities and people for the remainder of the cruise, it can be bearable. Of course, this advice isn't as applicable to people who catch their significant others cheating.

But even the happiest relationships can fall to the stress of relationship problems. As one person put it, "something about the sneaky stress of travel (not just the standing in line, but the new environment and the expectation that you must have a good time) can really bring out stuff that you didn't know was brewing under the surface."

You might not be able to fix a relationship caused by hearts that don't mesh well, a crappy partner, or a cheater, but there are ways to prevent some of the travel stress that can come with cruising. The best way to do that is to be as prepared as possible. And while Thrillist can't help you with affairs with au pairs (except to say, maybe don't?), we can help you prepare for the unexpected stresses of cruising.

Here are tips on how to bring alcohol on a cruise, what to know about swingers cruises, an essential cruise packing list according to experts, and maybe most essential, how to cancel a cruise according to experts.

Whether you need help sneaking weed onto a plane, finding an airport where you can sign up for PreCheck without an appointment, or making sure you’re getting everything you’re entitled to when your flight is canceled, we’ve got you covered. Keep reading for up-to-date travel hacks and all the travel news you need to help you plan your next big adventure.

Want more Thrillist? Follow us on Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, and YouTube.