U.S. States Ranked by How Miserable Their Summers Are

People tend to think of winter as the soul-crushing time of year that you just do your best to endure, but depending on what part of America you live in, it could be summer that tests your will to live (and the reliability of your AC).

In the name of freedom and pseudoscience, we've taken the liberty of ranking the top 10 worst states to visit during the summer. Each state’s summer misery level was determined by factoring in both the weather and the available ways to combat that heat like plunging in a lake or stretching out on a sandy beach. The higher the number, the more pleasant the summer. For those ranked at the bottom, we'd shake your hands out of respect for enduring those tough summer months but they're really gross and sweaty right now.

Look who we have here. The beloved state of California typically gets all the glory when lists like this lean positive. But when it comes to summertime, California is increasingly not where it’s at. Despite its destination-worthy airport and mid-century vibes, Palm Springs is the last place any of us would want to be lately thanks to a new heat record set in July when the charming desert town hit 124 degrees. And Palm Springs is just an example—this is true of the rest of the southern part of the state as well. It’s not your fault, California. The whole planet is heating up, really. It’s just time we call out that this magical land of sunscreen-flavored smoothies and laid-back surf towns is not all it’s cracked up to be in, say, August.

Not only are Las Vegas and the rest of Nevada setting heat records and living up to their desert ideals. But the options to escape the heat are not so great. In Las Vegas, the options are head to a pool party to drink overpriced liquor and rub shoulders with every other sweaty person in town, skip town and head to the lake, or embrace it and sweat it out while exploring Nevada’s rocky expanses and other beautiful places. Come to think of it, maybe AC was a driving factor behind all those last-minute celebrity elopements.

Summer in Virginia means sweating it out at Colonial Williamsburg and wondering if heat stroke is going to curtail your Shenandoah wine tasting plans. Luckily, they’ve got a small oceanfront and plenty of real estate along Chesapeake Bay to cool off a little and save them from the top spot on this list. But summer in Virginia is still pretty rough, especially considering that its East Coast locale should make for a somewhat enjoyable situation.

Remember those terrifying and depressing old photos of the Dust Bowl from your history textbook in elementary school where it's all gray and bleak and everyone just looks like they can't decide whether to be sad or dehydrated or both? Not exactly the best recipe for summer fun. The state is now home to capital of Route 66 but other than that, there’s just a whole lotta flat land and heat to contend with.

New Mexico is a great place to visit, don’t get us wrong. There’s weird and wonderful rocky vistas and hot springs and a famous hot air balloon festival. Just don’t visit in the summer. Temperatures often exceed 100 degrees and thanks to the state’s landlocked status, there are very few places to escape that blistering heat.

Some would argue that Florida gets a needlessly bad rep when it comes to, well, just about everything. But when it comes to summer weather, Florida’s sour reputation is well earned. Especially down south, where the tropical climate during the summer is like walking around inside a steam room. Northern Florida is a bit more temperate, and actually, the Gulf Stream keeps rather nice weather in most of Florida year-round. But Florida’s beaches have the warmest surface temp in the continental U.S. Oh, and did we mention there have been more shark attacks than ever this year?

It is hard to generalize Texas weather. Texas is the size of two Germanys. Do people in Bavaria have the same weather as people in, um, the other region of Germany that isn’t Bavaria? I think not. And yet, here we go: Texas summers are hot as hell. During the summer, the only time you are comfortable is for that brief period of time after you get out of a pool of water while your body is confused and wet. Sure, there’s a new floating pool in the heart of Texas Hill Country. White Cap Beach, South Padre Island, and other nearby beaches will do the trick. And a road trip through the Highland Lakes will deliver you to cavernous swimming holes and cool waterfalls. But it’s still going to be brutally hot.

There’s a reason why Georgia’s capital is nicknamed Hotlanta. Take a typical summer Friday afternoon in Atlanta: I-85 is a parking lot in both directions, with people from around the state heading inbound to party and Atlantans heading outbound to be anywhere else. Sure there are some things to do to escape the heat like hitting up a local pool or running off to a nearby beach. But no matter where you end up, you’ll probably spend your evenings fending off mosquitoes and intense sweat on all fronts.

At what point does the “dry heat” argument lose its luster? Could it be when the temperature goes up to 120 degrees and summer days merely consist of retired people in air-conditioned cars driving slowly around mall parking lots looking for spots that are marginally close to the shade? Not there yet? How about when it's too hot for planes to take off? Unless you’re escaping to Lake Havasu City and submerging in water for the duration of your stay, summer is gonna be pretty miserable around these parts.

It was tempting to go another direction with the No. 1 choice here, as Mississippi often finishes in the least-desirable position on these lists, whether the matter at hand is education, health of the general population, or population of fire ants. After all, Mississippi is hardly the only Gulf Coast state sporting an unyielding combo of heat and humidity. You know, the kind of weather not even an oil drum’s worth of sweet tea can combat?

Summer there has some redeeming qualities, sure. But unless you’re along the state’s 62 miles of shoreline or within a quick drive of beach towns like Biloxi, Ocean Springs, or Gulfport, you’re pretty much relying on mud pie and air conditioning to carry you through.

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