“Mother” means awesome, beautiful, cool, loving, protective — but another timeless definition is orbiting.
“Since the mid-20th century, mother has been used to refer to a feminine queer person who is powerful, confident, and a respected leader,” Jaidan McLean, co-editor of the American Speech’s quarterly dictionary, Among the New Words, tells TODAY.com.
The slang usage of “mother,” says McLean, came from “Black and Latinx LGBTQ+ people who created an underground ballroom scene and Houses for members to find community and family,” for example, trans woman, drag queen and LGBTQ+ youth mentor Crystal LaBeija of the House of LaBeija, “a safe- haven for queer people of color and a home with a family for those who don’t have one,” according to its website.
Kelly Elizabeth Wright, assistant professor of Language Sciences at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, explains:
“In a ballroom context, a mother can be a ‘drag mother’ who teaches a new queen the art and perhaps the business of drag or vogue or emceeing — a present figure who enables their self-expression,” Wright tells TODAY.com. “In this culture, houses exist where a mother or leader will train a potentially large group of daughters to compete against other houses for ballroom trophies, cash prizes, and bragging rights. It is a structure similar to that of a fashion house where artists create apprenticeships through which others can learn the trade.”
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The television show “Pose” and certain famous pop stars have resuscitated the slang word. For example, Beyoncé, Taylor Swift, and Lady Gaga are known as “Mother” to their fan bases, aka, the BeyHive, Swifties, and Little Monsters, respectively.
“Mother” is also used as a verb — “Mothering” is the act of being a “Mother” through caring or nurturing another person.
“The usage of mother which is popularizing now has grown far beyond its baptismal ballroom bounds and is contemporarily applied to essentially anyone who is setting a desirable example,” says Wright, who also traces “Mother” to another slang phrase: “Giving life.”
Wright points to the Urban Dictionary definition of “giving life”: “To give something or someone life means to give it or them energy, validity or significance.”
“The term is most commonly applied when an artist does something inspirational or innovative, but can also note when they’ve done everything perfectly, offering an elevated interpretation of the traditional,” she says.
Were you called “Mother?” It doesn’t mean you’re old or fit any parenting stereotype — it’s a sign of respect and appreciation.
“Anyone who is serving, owning, eating, crushing, killing, cooking, or giving could be mothering,” says Wright. “Take it as a compliment!”
