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Tenacious

@atlinmerrick / atlinmerrick.tumblr.com

AtlinMerrick on AO3 // AtlinMerrick on Twitter // ImprobablePress on Instagram // Commissioning Editor @ ImprobablePress.com (she/her)
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A nurse has heart attack and describes what she felt like when having one

I am an ER nurse and this is the best description of this event that I have ever heard. 

 FEMALE HEART ATTACKS 

 I was aware that female heart attacks are different, but this is description is so incredibly visceral that I feel like I have an entire new understanding of what it feels like to be living the symptoms on the inside. Women rarely have the same dramatic symptoms that men have… you know, the sudden stabbing pain in the chest, the cold sweat, grabbing the chest & dropping to the floor the we see in movies. Here is the story of one woman’s experience with a heart attack: 

 "I had a heart attack at about 10:30 PM with NO prior exertion, NO prior emotional trauma that one would suspect might have brought it on. I was sitting all snugly & warm on a cold evening, with my purring cat in my lap, reading an interesting story my friend had sent me, and actually thinking, ‘A-A-h, this is the life, all cozy and warm in my soft, cushy Lazy Boy with my feet propped up. A moment later, I felt that awful sensation of indigestion, when you’ve been in a hurry and grabbed a bite of sandwich and washed it down with a dash of water, and that hurried bite seems to feel like you’ve swallowed a golf ball going down the esophagus in slow motion and it is most uncomfortable. You realize you shouldn’t have gulped it down so fast and needed to chew it more thoroughly and this time drink a glass of water to hasten its progress down to the stomach. This was my initial sensation–the only trouble was that I hadn’t taken a bite of anything since about 5:00 p.m. 

After it seemed to subside, the next sensation was like little squeezing motions that seemed to be racing up my SPINE (hind-sight, it was probably my aorta spasms), gaining speed as they continued racing up and under my sternum (breast bone, where one presses rhythmically when administering CPR). This fascinating process continued on into my throat and branched out into both jaws. ‘AHA!! NOW I stopped puzzling about what was happening – we all have read and/or heard about pain in the jaws being one of the signals of an MI happening, haven’t we? I said aloud to myself and the cat, Dear God, I think I’m having a heart attack! I lowered the foot rest dumping the cat from my lap, started to take a step and fell on the floor instead. I thought to myself, If this is a heart attack, I shouldn’t be walking into the next room where the phone is or anywhere else… but, on the other hand, if I don’t, nobody will know that I need help, and if I wait any longer I may not be able to get up in a moment. 

I pulled myself up with the arms of the chair, walked slowly into the next room and dialed the Paramedics… I told her I thought I was having a heart attack due to the pressure building under the sternum and radiating into my jaws. I didn’t feel hysterical or afraid, just stating the facts. She said she was sending the Paramedics over immediately, asked if the front door was near to me, and if so, to un-bolt the door and then lie down on the floor where they could see me when they came in. I unlocked the door and then laid down on the floor as instructed and lost consciousness, as I don’t remember the medics coming in, their examination, lifting me onto a gurney or getting me into their ambulance, or hearing the call they made to St. Jude ER on the way, but I did briefly awaken when we arrived and saw that the radiologist was already there in his surgical blues and cap, helping the medics pull my stretcher out of the ambulance. He was bending over me asking questions (probably something like ‘Have you taken any medications?’) but I couldn’t make my mind interpret what he was saying, or form an answer, and nodded off again, not waking up until the Cardiologist and partner had already threaded the teeny angiogram balloon up my femoral artery into the aorta and into my heart where they installed 2 side by side stints to hold open my right coronary artery. 

I know it sounds like all my thinking and actions at home must have taken at least 20-30 minutes before calling the paramedics, but actually it took perhaps 4-5 minutes before the call, and both the fire station and St Jude are only minutes away from my home, and my Cardiologist was already to go to the OR in his scrubs and get going on restarting my heart (which had stopped somewhere between my arrival and the procedure) and installing the stents. Why have I written all of this to you with so much detail? Because I want all of you who are so important in my life to know what I learned first hand. 

1. Be aware that something very different is happening in your body, not the usual men’s symptoms but inexplicable things happening (until my sternum and jaws got into the act). It is said that many more women than men die of their first (and last) MI because they didn’t know they were having one and commonly mistake it as indigestion, take some Maalox or other anti-heartburn preparation and go to bed, hoping they’ll feel better in the morning when they wake up… which doesn’t happen. My female friends, your symptoms might not be exactly like mine, so I advise you to call the Paramedics if ANYTHING is unpleasantly happening that you’ve not felt before. It is better to have a ‘false alarm’ visitation than to risk your life guessing what it might be! 2. Note that I said ‘Call the Paramedics.’ And if you can take an aspirin. Ladies, TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE! Do NOT try to drive yourself to the ER - you are a hazard to others on the road. Do NOT have your panicked husband who will be speeding and looking anxiously at what’s happening with you instead of the road. Do NOT call your doctor – he doesn’t know where you live and if it’s at night you won’t reach him anyway, and if it’s daytime, his assistants (or answering service) will tell you to call the Paramedics. He doesn’t carry the equipment in his car that you need to be saved! The Paramedics do, principally OXYGEN that you need ASAP. Your Dr. will be notified later. 3. Don’t assume it couldn’t be a heart attack because you have a normal cholesterol count. Research has discovered that a cholesterol elevated reading is rarely the cause of an MI (unless it’s unbelievably high and/or accompanied by high blood pressure). MIs are usually caused by long-term stress and inflammation in the body, which dumps all sorts of deadly hormones into your system to sludge things up in there. Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Let’s be careful and be aware. The more we know the better chance we could survive to tell the tale.“

Reblog, repost, Facebook, tweet, pin, email, morse code, fucking carrier pigeon this to save a life! I wish I knew who the author was. I’m definitely not the OP, actually think it might be an old chain email or even letter from back in the day. The version I saw floating around Facebook ended with “my cardiologist says mail this to 10 friends, maybe you’ll save one!” And knew this was way too interesting not to pass on.

Save a life–Reblog.

Female heart attacks are much different, and most people don’t know it!

Because this is tumblr-

Is a transperson’s symptom the one of their transitioned sex or the original?

I think it’s probably a combination of their history, when they medically transitioned, and their current hrt status. I learned about symptoms of heart attacks in both binary sexes so I can recognize if I’m having either of those combinations of symptoms or a mix.

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gifseafins
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atlinmerrick

So my take-home message here is Tarak wrapped his leg around that man's waist and I'll be taking no questions at this time.

MY take-home message is that he really enjoyed playing with that man's bearded face WHILE his leg was wrapped around his waist and my question is can my heart take it?

I NOTICED THAT. I noticed the grabby-pinchy of that man's beard and I for one demand a slo-mo zoomed-in soundtracked version of those moments. Yes.

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berlynn-wohl

someone I follow on the bird app just announced they’re starting a very exclusive private fic server because they and a bunch of other people want to talk about how much they love the fics they’re reading, and as an author can I just say that a really great place to talk about a fic you love is in the comments for that fic

I understand that people are trying to create safe spaces, but as the number of comments that I get on my fics dwindles with each passing year, knowing these spaces exist where my fics are being discussed, places that I am excluded from, makes me want to write fic LESS

I mean I guess who cares, right, because if I stop writing, there’s 10,000 other people that will continue…but if you participate in a fic “book club” server and you say nice things there about a fic you loved, maybe copy and paste that into a comment on AO3?

the only thing fanfic writers are asking for in return for hours of hard work is attention. please don’t rob us of the one thing that we hope for when we hit “post”

this is directly related to this post I made about how fanfic authors now are treated like content mills, and not like valued members of a creative community who thrive on interaction. for the past decade, we’ve watched the fandom ecosystem disrupted over and over, as NSFW fan artists seek safety by putting their work behind paywalls, and self-conscious fic readers squirrel away their feelings in invite-only communities

an easy way to do your part to fight against the evils perpetrated by social media is to leave a comment on a fanfic you love

but don’t take my word for it – here are some responses that my fellow authors have left on this post:

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mrlarkstin

The fact I had a fic that was fairly beloved and NO ONE commented on it because it was all being done in a fucking book club server made me want to scream.

I haven’t updated that fic in two years now.

I cannot express enough how imperative it is to show the writer how much you love their work. The comments don’t have to be novels themselves - even just an “I loved this so much!” Or keyboard smashing works wonders to keep the writer going. Please, we need to bring back supporting writers and artists now more than ever!!!

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perseidlion

PLUS, plus…if people are talking about fic in private servers and not telling the authors, those people get the idea that the fic writer is “big.” Meanwhile the fic writer is sitting there, staring at a Google doc, struggling to find the motivation to write the next chapter, with 2 comments on a 20k fic.

They don’t feel big. They don’t feel appreciated. They don’t feel motivated. And they might stop writing or shelve their fic, never knowing that people were loving it in private.

Honestly this is the same for social media threads or even on this very app. If you can, tag the author. A lot of us have our socials in our AO3 profiles.

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atlinmerrick

No one is trying to guilt you. We are asking a fraction of your time. A couple clicks and one or two words. Comments are joy you can absolutely give, they never lose their shine, a writer is always going to vibrate at getting one and YOU GET TO DO THAT. Same as they just did for you with their story.

A comment can be One. Single. Word.

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the fact that any athlete can be subjected to "gender testing" on a whim because osmeone thinks she is too strong, too fast, just simply Too Good to be a woman is so fucking antifeminist, how can these people not see it?

all you need is one opponent crying big fragile tears because you were better than her and suddenly you are subjected to humiliating medical tests, every second of which is splashed onto the news as a scandal, and god forbid you are discovered to be intersex! you can be barred forever from sports for being born a woman The Wrong Way, and tricking everyone into thinking you are a Correct Woman. even if you are also just now discovering it. quick question do you, person reading this, know your chromosomes? are you sure? have you had them tested?

Rampant misogyny, baked into the way organized sports work

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decoysender

fuck i only now thought that it actually implies that, that it's about women being "too strong", it's not just about shitty hormone debate, this whole olympic scandal is fucking disgusting on multiple levels (including those I haven't mentioned, like about intersex people in reblog above)

Isn't it the case that there is no actual "standard" amount of testosterone a woman is supposed to have?

Like where do you make the cutoff? Higher than "average" testosterone? That means up to half of women can't compete, due to how averages work. 90th percentile? 95th percentile? How could it be fair to a woman to disallow her from competing in sports due to being at the far end of a distribution of values that don't have a completely understood meaning anyway?

Or does there have to be a "medical issue" that can cause elevated testosterone, whatever that means? If having PCOS is sufficient to make a woman too intersex to be in sports, that's, what, 10 percent of women?

Even with less common intersex variations, we don't actually know how common they are, because there is no reason for most people to get tested.

This is very concerning not to mention anti-feminist. Human bodies have variations, including in hormone levels, and there is no accepted "standard" amount of variation. But even if there was a "test" that she could "fail," how could that disqualify her, if it is a test the other athletes never even passed?

It would be unethical to do this, but if we tested the hormones of EVERY Olympic athlete, who knows what we would find?

In fact, if testosterone has the simple performance-enhancing effect that people assume it does, we should expect that EVERY female Olympian has elevated testosterone—they're the best of the best!

Or maybe we would find out that lots of female athletes have "average" testosterone levels. How in the hell did they make it to the Olympics then, since by any measurement, being a cis woman with "high" testosterone is orders of magnitude more common than being an Olympian?

Seriously. Think about it! Either having "male" hormone levels doesn't actually make you inherently better at sports, or every Olympic athlete has "male" hormone levels.

She is being subjected to extra requirements because someone thought "Ew, she is too manly." This is basically the same as messing up a woman's career because somebody thought she is ugly.

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Normal transgender dysphoria:

  • Chest too big
  • Chest not big enough
  • Facial balance wrong
  • Muscles too prominent
  • Skeletal structure too dainty

Incurable secret dysphoria

  • Not enough eyes
  • No tentacles
  • Teeth too dull
  • No halo
  • No bioluminescence
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gifseafins
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atlinmerrick

So my take-home message here is Tarak wrapped his leg around that man's waist and I'll be taking no questions at this time.

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luxshine

No no, there are questions: Like, why don't let let him wrap hi slegs around men's waists more often!

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The number one cause of death in pregnant women is murder. Think About That.

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teaboot

...oh.

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atlinmerrick

But they do go on and on about the sanctity of life. They don't mean it, but oh they do go on, the pieces of shit.

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gifseafins

I always thought that what Bheem did here was a montage of the film 👇 .

. Until I saw this 👇 .

.

Can anyone tell me how they will do this ? What material is this ?

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hag-lad

The material used to make these bangles is a resin called lac, also spelled “lakh”.

Lac comes from an insect similar to a locust. (Funnily, the numeric term “lakh” which means “100,000” also comes from this insect: A “lakh” is considered a “swarm.”)

To make the bangles, lac is scraped off trees, melted down over heat to make it pliable, then rolled and shaped exactly how Bheem is shown doing it in the movie! 😇 I’ve watched a few videos of artisans making these, and they can finish each bangle in just a few minutes! HOWEVER, you can tell that their speed comes from being very well practiced. Bangles with more colors or patterns take longer to finish. And it looks quite physically taxing, with all the rolling and melting. So it might be fast, but not easy. It is such a cool art!

…YET ANOTHER incredible talent Bheem has!!! Literally nothing in this world he cannot do.

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fellshish

I have a lot of feelings about the rise of he would not fucking say that attitudes in fandom spaces and the paralysing effect it can have on creators. As a writer i think it’s important to just write what feels true to you and not what you think others will “approve” of. Like even as a reader i have enjoyed a variety of different characterisations that all work because the writer makes them work for a particular story. And a fic that’s written out of character to some will be in character to others. Writing fic is not your job you’re not being paid it’s your hobby please. Make them as close to canon as possible. Make them completely different. Who cares! Have fun! Have so much fun! There is an audience for every kind of fic and every kind of character interpretation i promise

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blakbonnet

get peer reviewed @bizarrelittlemew

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atlinmerrick

Also let me encourage you to delete every single comment that makes you feel like not writing.

AO3 is your online house for fic. When someone craps in the foyer of your home, you don't let it stay there to stink up the house you clean that up. ANY words that make you want to stop writing are no good and should be deleted. Critique doesn't stop you from writing, but cruelty and arrogant criticism can and will.

DELETE IT.

Block the writer if they double-down. I write for a living, I get edited for a living by people who know what they're doing, and on AO3 I absolutely delete shit comments. That's because you NEVER have to "get used to criticism" from strangers who are almost always flexing their power muscles, relishing their ability to make you question your joy. Don't let them.

DELETE CRAP COMMENTS THAT MAKE YOU NOT WANT TO WRITE.

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