Hit List: Feb. 22 2013

? Connecticut congressman slams Steven Spielberg for historical inaccuracy in Lincoln Splitting hairs here, but I’m also pretty sure Lincoln never said, ”Be excellent to each other and…PARTY ON, DUDES!” as portrayed in the 1989 docudrama Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure.
? Babe star James Cromwell arrested for crashing University of Wisconsin board meeting to protest animal experimentation As police filed into the room and gently placed cuffs on his wrists, Cromwell smiled poignantly and said, ”That’ll do, pigs. That’ll do.”
? Star Wars developing spin-offs featuring Han Solo and Boba Fett When asked by Jar Jar Binks where his own movie was, Fett told him, ”Oh, ummm…right over here by the edge of this sarlacc pit. You really have to lean over to see it, though…”
? TLC to air Welcome to Myrtle Manor, reality series set in South Carolina trailer park For those who feel alienated by the ostentatious display of refinement on Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.
? 12-year-old boy faces felony charges for bogus 911 call that sent cops to Ashton Kutcher’s house The kid is being charged with computer intrusion and making false bomb threats, but his lawyers are hoping to talk the DA down to a really bad episode of Punk’d.
? Beyoncé’s publicist tries to get unflattering photos removed from Internet ”Wait, that’s an option?” asked Lindsay Lohan.
? Couple reportedly arrested at Motel 6 in Cleveland area after heated argument over whether Eddie Van Halen or Slash is the greatest guitarist ever ”You two need to settle down,” the cop informed them. ”It’s Clapton.”
? A Nightmare on Elm Street house for sale in West Hollywood for $2.1 million It was actually a foreclosure. And if you listen closely, you can hear two schoolgirls singing, ”One, two, Freddie Mac’s coming for you…”