Laura Kenny admits 'I didn't want gold medals, all I wanted was a baby' after suffering a heartbreaking miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy during the 'toughest period of her life'
Dame Laura Kenny has opened up about how the heartbreak of her miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy
The Olympian candidly explained in an interview with Women's Health how the tragic experience completely changed her mindset and she was left wanting a baby over any sporting medal.
The cyclist, 32, who announced her retirement from the sport back in March, confessed she found herself frustrated with her body as she could her push herself to incredible physical heights, yet she couldn't have a baby.
She told the publication: 'I cannot tell you how sad I was for a year to 18 months. I mean, you could ask Jase how I was, I was a different person.
'I just went within myself because it was consuming. And all I wanted was this little baby; I didn't want gold medals, you know, I didn't want to go and race in the Commonwealth Games. I wanted a baby. And it just wasn't happening.'
Dame Laura Kenny has confessed she stopped caring about medals and just wanted a baby as she reveals the frustrations she had with her body after her miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy amid the 'toughest period of her life' back in 2021
The cyclist, who announced her retirement from the sport back in March, confessed she found herself frustrated with her body as she could her push herself to incredible physical heights, yet she couldn't have a baby (pictured winning a gold medal at the Rio Olympics in 2016)
Laura suffered a miscarriage back in 2021, followed by surgery for an ectopic pregnancy.
An ectopic pregnancy is when the embryo attaches to a different site than the lining of the uterus, where it should normally implant.
One of the most common places for ectopics is the fallopian tube. As the pregnancy grows, it stretches the tube leading to pain and, if untreated, they can rupture through the tube with the potential for life-threatening internal bleeding.
Laura now shares Monty, 11 months, and her eldest son Albie, six, with her husband, seven-time cycling champion Jason Kenny, 36.
However before the birth of her second son and a year after her ectopic pregnancy Laura won a silver medal at the 2022 Commonwealth Games but admitted she didn't find happiness in the win.
She explained: 'I was like, why will [my body] do that and it won't do the one thing that I just want the most...
'I felt like I was living in this yin and yang world where you could only have one of them.
'And when you're an athlete who has had so much control over their body for so long, it literally just felt like the carpet had been ripped out from underneath me because all of a sudden I wasn't in control of it, and there was nothing that I could do.'
While she added that she doesn't want to label her sadness at the time as depression, she confessed: 'I'd hate to put a label on myself, but that was the lowest I've been – 100%. It was mentally the toughest period of my life.'
Laura also opened up about how the miscarriage affected her husband and fellow Olympic cycling legend, Jason.
'No one asked him if he was okay, and how he was feeling,' she explained.
'And so I guess I totally underestimated how much I was using him and how much I was talking to him and never actually saying, "Jase, are you actually okay yourself?"
'And it wasn't until quite a long time after that...he could even tell me how bad it was for him, too.'
Back in March Laura explained she had made the decision to hang up her bike after struggling to spend time away from her children and the sacrifice of leaving her family at home.
Laura now shares Monty, 11 months, and her eldest son Albie, six, with her husband, seven-time cycling champion Jason Kenny, 36
![Laura won a silver medal at the 2022 Commonwealth Games but admitted she didn't find happiness in the win. She explained: 'I was like, why will [my body] do that and it won't do the one thing that I just want the most...'](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2024/06/24/14/86500129-13563339-image-a-2_1719237563506.jpg)
Laura won a silver medal at the 2022 Commonwealth Games but admitted she didn't find happiness in the win. She explained: 'I was like, why will [my body] do that and it won't do the one thing that I just want the most...'
She confessed: ' I'd hate to put a label on myself, but that was the lowest I've been – 100%. It was mentally the toughest period of my life'
Laura also opened up about how the miscarriage affected her husband and fellow Olympic cycling legend, Jason. 'No one asked him if he was okay, and how he was feeling'
![Discussing the birth of her second child, Monty, Laura said he completely changed her mindset as an athlete: 'I felt so privileged to be able to have been pregnant again and then bring him into the world [that] I was just struggling to leave him'](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2024/06/24/14/86500117-13563339-image-a-3_1719237595321.jpg)
Discussing the birth of her second child, Monty, Laura said he completely changed her mindset as an athlete: 'I felt so privileged to be able to have been pregnant again and then bring him into the world [that] I was just struggling to leave him'
Speaking about the struggle of balancing both elite sport and motherhood she admitted that it is doable but it comes with sacrifice, and she wasn't 100% at her best for the Tokyo Olympics.
'It it comes with sacrifice. And you've got to be prepared for a non-perfect build-up...do I think I went into Tokyo absolutely 100% at my best? No, of course I don't.
'Because rest days weren't rest days and any time I was at home, I wasn't sat on the sofa like Jase and I used to be. I was out on the trampoline, I was playing in the sandpit...So do I think it was harder? Yes. [But] it doesn't need to be incompatible.'
Discussing the birth of her second child, Monty, Laura said he completely changed her mindset as an athlete.
She explained: 'I felt so privileged to be able to have been pregnant again and then bring him into the world [that] I was just struggling to leave him.
'I couldn't leave him for training sessions because, why would I? All I wanted was him.'
Laura admitted she left her son Albie at home dur to Covid protocols during the Tokyo Olympics in 2021 and found it 'heart-wrenching'.
'I'm not really a crier...and the only time that Albie ever remembers Mummy crying is when I had to leave him to go to the Olympics.
'And it just felt like someone literally ripped my heart out and was just throwing it away. It was awful. I remember messaging Jase when I was in the [Athletes'] Village, just saying, 'I hope that I never feel like this again.'
The full Laura Kenny interview is available to Women’s Health Collective members on the WH app now, or in the magazine from 2nd July
