I'm Swedish and I've noticed a depressing and lonely truth about Australians

By Shania Obrien For Daily Mail Australia

Published: | Updated:

A Swedish woman recently uncovered a surprising connection between her homeland and Australia: residents in both countries can't make friends easily.

A traveller recently asked Australians how they make friends as adults Down Under, after noticing Aussie expats struggling to find mates in Sweden. 

She described the 'Swedish social mentality' as an unwelcoming sphere where it is difficult for people to form new circles of friends outside of school and university. 

'How do people make friends in Australia?' she asked on Reddit. 'I've read multiple threads of Australians moving to Sweden, and others who live or have lived here don't recommend it because it is hard to make (non-expat) friends.'

Australians and expats alike have complained about how difficult it is to expand their social circles - with one dubbing Perth a 'lonely city' and another traveller slamming all Aussies as 'flaky' and unreliable. 

Australians and expats have complained about how difficult it is to expand their social circles

Australians and expats have complained about how difficult it is to expand their social circles

'Most people [in Sweden] form their circles during school, at the latest during university years, and if you don't succeed in forming a circle of friends during those years, then tough luck.'

She added: 'I can sympathise, I myself belong to the category that largely missed out during that window of opportunity. It is not impossible to make friends if you miss out, but much, much harder.

'I am curious to learn, how do people make friends in Australia? Are people largely open to making new friends throughout their lives, after their formative years, or how does it work? How is it different?'

A few shared their thoughts on the matter, with one offering insight into the situation. 

'Starting over from scratch can be hard no matter where you find yourself,' one said. 'And the contrast would be especially visible if you already have a decent social network in the place you left behind.'

Others claimed there were specific 'phases' where it is easier to make friends. 

'There are different stages in your life where it is easy to expand your circle of friends. I am in my mid 60s and can identify them: school, university, work, parents from your child's school, and social groups from clubs.'

Many agreed Perth residents tend to be 'insular' and 'cliquey' (stock image)

Many agreed Perth residents tend to be 'insular' and 'cliquey' (stock image)

Another advised: 'Your best bet is with other foreigners or with people who have recently moved cities.' 

'I think the job you have makes a difference,' a woman said. 'I'm a doctor and have worked with so many different people in hospitals that I've made a few long lasting friendships as an adult that way. We also get bonded by shared difficult experiences.'

One offered a bleak take on Australians and friends. 

'Honestly, we don't [make friends]. We're not friendly people, we cancel plans at a moment's notice and don't invite anyone into our circles beyond our 20s. We'll say 'hi, how are you' to the cashier but never ask our friends if they're happy.

'Then we just let each friend drift away until it's just us, our spouse, and our dog. Our social life then involves dreaded family events and a strong desire to live as isolated as possible in between.'

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