70 Women Ages 5-75: What's the Most Embarrassing Thing That's Happened to You?

[Woman] What's the most embarrassing thing

that's ever happened to you?

I fell down in mud.

I don't think I've ever been embarrassed.

When I spilled soda on me at lunch.

One time I was bending down to pick up my pencil

in school and then when I was bending down,

my stomach was hurting, so when I bent down,

it pushed and then I farted.

Once at school I tied my shoes together

and I couldn't get them apart.

I opened a card that wasn't for me

and I had to seal it back up with an envelope.

I fell off a scooter and broke my arm.

Someone bumped into me and I got pushed in the trash.

[sighs]

I was in school and I was running and I fell

and then I had to keep acting like it didn't happen

so I just kept running.

One time I left a public restroom with toilet paper

coming out of my pants.

When I was in fifth grade, I did a talent show

in front of my whole school and I was supposed

to be singing and dancing but I got nervous and froze.

I tripped on my foot and broke my finger

by tripping on my foot. [chuckles]

In my kindergarten recital, when I got the microphone,

instead of saying my line, I decided to say,

Mommy, I gotta go pee.

A couple of weeks ago I was walking down a hill

and I tripped and I fell down in front of my entire school.

Mistaking a random person for one of my friends.

Falling at the gym in front of a group of people.

When I was 10, the coach of our swim clinic

was talking to us and I just fell into the pool.

When I was on vacation with my ex-boyfriend's family

and my wig was coming off and no one told me. [chuckles]

Tripping on the train platform.

One time I was running to try to catch one

of those revolving doors, got my feet stuck in it

and just fell all the way down backwards.

When I was in first grade I peed in a chair

and then I took the chair like this and started walking

around with it so that you couldn't see that I peed in it.

Queefing in a yoga class.

[chuckles]

When I was 18, my best friend and I made a plan

to go to Spencer's gifts at the mall and buy vibrators

and while I was reaching for one,

a giant black vibrator fell on my face.

I walked the wrong way during my high school graduation.

So one time in middle school I was really bored

in my science class and the outlets were on the table

and for some reason I took a paperclip

and I stuck it in there and sparks are flying

and the lights went out. [chuckles]

And everyone was screaming and freaking out.

That was pretty embarrassing.

So one time I had to pee in a cup at a doctor's office

and when I went to give it to the nurse,

I spilled it everywhere.

I was in a meeting and my foot fell asleep

and I tripped in front of everyone

and kinda caught myself on a table.

Oh I fell at the gym. [chuckles]

I was in a production of Oklahoma

and I accidentally went on stage in my flip flops.

My mom arranged my prom date

because she didn't think I could get one.

Falling up the stairs coming out of the subway.

When I was a senior in high school,

my biology teacher asked the class,

Does anyone know what the ring

around an earth worm is called?

And I raised my hand immediately with total confidence

and he called on me and I said, Scrotum.

So it's actually called a clitellum

and I won't ever forget that.

I had a teacher once confiscate a love poem

I had written for a boy in my class

and read it out to the whole class

and then ask who had written it.

Nobody volunteered so he collected all of the copy books

of the girls in the class

and then did what could only be described

as the most awful forensic analysis of the handwriting

and then was like, Did you write this love poem, Samantha?

I don't think I've ever been so embarrassed in my life.

Yeah, it's terrible.

When I was in elementary school,

I walked out of the restroom with my dress tucked

in my stockings and I don't know how long I was walking

around like that until one

of my male classmates told me so.

I used to practice Capoeira,

and I was wearing a wig and I turned a flip

and the wig came off in class.

My threshold is pretty high,

I don't get embarrassed very easily.

I recently walked into a glass partition

and left a full face impression from my forehead

to my chin of my foundation and my brows

and my lipstick on the glass.

My boyfriend and I were watching a basketball game

and I felt a little frisky so I went to go bite him

on his schlong but his clothes are on

so my tooth cracked off on his zipper

and flew across the room.

I was wearing leggings when I went to the supermarket

and I felt them going down and I was commando.

I was working on a movie set

and one of the actors I thought came from a crossover movie,

turned out I was just trespassing in his house.

Congratulating someone on their pregnancy

when they weren't pregnant.

I walked down the street with toilet paper on my heel.

[chuckles] For a very long time.

[chuckles]

And it was coming from my back. [laughing]

Coming from a public bathroom,

I came out with tissue paper on my foot.

I fell in front of the entire class.

There were two cars, navy blue.

One contained my boyfriend, one a random stranger.

I came out and got into the wrong car.

I accidentally leave my purse somewhere

and it getting stolen.

I forgot to lock the bathroom on the plane.

I was on a road trip with a friend.

It was 2 a.m. and I had to go

to the bathroom very badly immediately

so I pulled over and as I was pooping on somebody's lawn,

the paperboy threw the paper up so he thumped and I thumped.

I went to the gas station and when I went to the bathroom,

I accidentally stole toilet paper

and unbeknownst to me, it was under my arm

and when I checked out, the cashier was looking at me

like I was totally a moron.

On my first date with a boy

that I was head over heels with, I fell down the steps.

When I was a medical student, I was scrubbed in

for a procedure and I kinda passed out.

Had to be escorted out of the room.

[chuckles]

That was bad.

There was a day when I was 13 years old

in middle school and I was wearing white pants.

And I'll leave it at that.

I forgot the name of someone that I dated for two years.

My foot fell asleep in a waiting room and I fell.

I did not know that the entire back of my pants

was split open, revealing my pink underwear.

So when I was in the third grade,

we had to wear shorts underneath our skirts to school

for gym class and on this particular day

when we got ready to go to gym, took my skirt off,

and forgot to put my shorts on so there I was standing

in my underwear.

Costume I was wearing came down and one

of my breasts was showing while I was on stage.

Doing karaoke at a work function

and not realizing the meaning of the lyrics I was singing

until after I had finished singing.

Nothing 'cause I don't take no shit.

Never.

Getting sick in the bathroom in Marshall's.

When I was about 12 I had to walk across the stage

in order to demonstrate how to sit properly

and I fell.

Being called four eyes when I was a kid.

That really embarrassed me.

At a important point in the play,

I had to run up to the lead and throw my arms around her

and promise to never leave her again,

and I got carried away and knocked her over

and then we were both rolling around on the stage

and we couldn't get up because we were laughing too hard.

My slip fell down to the floor.

Saying something nasty about a friend

when I thought she had already hung up on the phone.

A slip was showing once beneath a skirt.

When I was in high school,

I took swimming as my physical education class

and I don't know how to swim.

I don't get embarrassed.

My children get embarrassed on my behalf but I don't.

I used to have a huge crush on Anthony Hopkins.

I followed him one night after a performance

to a local bar and went to the restroom.

When I came out, he had arrived with his family

and friends and I walked out of the restroom

trailing half a roll of toilet paper.

I was in junior high, I got on stage

to be in a talent show to play the piano

and I forgot how, what the music was.

Walking through a swamp saying I stink.

When I was a child I had a difficult time

reading out loud.

It stays with me forever.