My sister secretly dated my ex and now they're getting married - but I REFUSE to go to the wedding

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A woman is questioning if she is in the wrong for refusing to go to her little sister's wedding - after finding out her sibling is set to marry her ex-boyfriend whom she ended things with only one year ago.

'Am I the a**hole for refusing to attend my sister's wedding after she secretly dated and got engaged to my ex-fiancé?' the 28-year-old woman titled a post soliciting feedback on Reddit's infamous r/AmITheA**hole forum.

She went on to explain she'd been with her ex-fiancé, dubbed Mike, for five years, and engaged for two.

They'd been set to tie the knot last summer - but, just months before their wedding date, she discovered he'd been cheating on her. 

'Am I the a**hole for refusing to attend my sister's wedding after she secretly dated and got engaged to my ex-fiancé?' the 28-year-old woman titled the post

'It was devastating, and I called off the wedding immediately,' she wrote.

Shortly thereafter, Mike moved away, and she thought 'that was the end of it.'

'I was heartbroken, but I slowly started to move on with my life,' she described.

But, last month, the woman got a phone call from her 25-year-old younger sister, dubbed Lily, who said she had 'exciting news' and asked her to come over to their parents' house for dinner to reveal it.

'When I arrived, Lily and my parents were all smiles, and she drops the bombshell: she's engaged. To Mike,' the woman continued.

'My head was spinning. I felt like I was going to pass out,' she recalled.

Apparently, Lily and Mike had been secretly dating for the past year, and they'd just gotten engaged.

Their parents had 'known about it for months but decided to keep it from me to "protect my feelings,"' the woman added.

She questioned if she is in the wrong for refusing to go to her little sister's wedding - after finding out her sibling is set to marry her ex-boyfriend whom she ended things with only one year ago (stock image)

'They actually thought I'd be happy for them eventually,' she described of her parents.

'Lily tried to justify it by saying she and Mike fell in love after our breakup and that their relationship is meant to be,' the woman recounted of her sister's excuse.

The sister further swore that they hadn't started dating until after the woman's break up with Mike.

Nonetheless, the woman understandably 'felt betrayed on so many levels.'

She continued: 'I told them all that I wanted nothing to do with their wedding and stormed out. 

'Since then, my parents and Lily have been bombarding me with calls and texts, calling me selfish and saying I'm overreacting.

'They claim that true love is rare and I should be supportive of Lily's happiness.'

'Now, the wedding is in a few months, and the pressure is on,' she went on.

'My parents have even threatened to cut me off financially if I don't attend.

'Some friends think I should go to keep the peace and show I'm over it, while others are appalled and say I have every right to be angry and to stay away.

'Even worse, Lily is now asking the woman to be her maid of honor, "claiming she wants to mend our relationship."

'This request has left me torn — I don't want to ruin our family dynamic further, but I can't shake the hurt and betrayal I feel.'

Through thousands of comments, other Reddit users overwhelmingly deemed the woman NTA - short for 'Not The A**hole' - for wanting to sit out the wedding 

The post concluded: 'So, AITA for refusing to attend my sister's wedding after she secretly dated and got engaged to my ex-fiancé?'

Through thousands of comments, other Reddit users overwhelmingly deemed the woman NTA - short for 'Not The A**hole' - for wanting to sit out the wedding.

The top-voted comment declared: 'It's bewildering to me that all the adults in this situation accept all this without question, and are putting the pressure on you to do the same.... that's WILD.'

The commenter added: 'Your sister and parents REALLY let you down, and they are digging themselves further into the hole by demanding you respond a certain way and by threatening and coercing you to comply. Ick.'

A second commenter analyzed the situation as thus: 'Let's review here. Mike has cheated on you and broke your heart ([presumably] with someone else, since Lily says they started dating after your break-up).

'Now that very cheater is with your sister and they, including your parents, hid this fact from you. Now they drop this bomb on you, call you heartless for not believing in their "true love" and Lily even dares to ask you to be her maid of honor?

'If Mike cheated once, he will cheat again. That much I foresee,' they predicted, also advising the woman to go low- or no-contact with her immediate family. 

A third chimed in: 'NTA. Sure you cannot control them ending up together. They started dating after your relationship had ended. If your sister is in love with your sloppy seconds and a known cheater. All the best to her. I think deep down you will process the truth of that for yourself, and maintain your relationship with your sister.

'BUT you NEED the time to process this.... Dropping the bombshell on you two months before the wedding. Expecting you to just get over your feelings and be a part of the wedding party as well is A LOT to ask in this situation. 

'Your parents AND sister made a horrific mistake in NOT informing you of this sooner, and giving you time to process your feelings,' they reasoned.

And as a fourth put it: 'My gosh, it is so messed up she is marrying your ex who cheated on you. The fact that they were secretly dating makes me think she was the other woman. 

'I don't blame you for not going. Sorry this is happening. Your parents are wrong as well. But, your sister is the worst.'