- Young Aussie shared an ongoing 'toxic' struggle that's 'tougher than dating'
- Read more: Expat shares worrying trend she's noticed about Australia
Tash Oakes has always struggled making friends and claims meeting new people as an adult is 'tougher than dating'.
The 27-year-old Melbourne woman is often so terrified about building bonds that it's impacted her confidence and self esteem.
And she's sick and tired of other women assuming not having many friends implies you're not a decent person or aren't fun to be around.
'I've never been able to find people who like me for my authentic self and in my opinion, it's much worse than the dating world,' Ms Oakes told FEMAIL.
The frustrated young Aussie referenced trends seen on TikTok, including: 'When you find out the reason why the girl who has no friends has no friends.'
In a video she said: 'It's heartbreaking and it feels like a personal attack towards me because my whole life I've struggled to make friends.
'As I've gotten older I'm still struggling. I've never really had consistent friends for long periods of time or through different seasons of life.
'I've come to grow up and have self-awareness to realise that they've all served a purpose.'
Tash Oakes, from Melbourne, has always struggled making friends and is 'sick and tired' when others assume having no mates means you're not fun to be around
The 27-year-old has tried making new friends before but it 'didn't end well', possibly due to her 'desperation' for authentic friendships
Ms Oakes has tried making new friends before but it 'didn't end well', possibly due to her 'desperation' for authentic friendships.
She often worries about other people's judgement but tries to block this out and ignore it.
'The ideology that spreads that if you don't have friends that you're worthy of having friends or people should want to steer clear of you is stopping me from achieving my goals and I'm afraid to go after what I need,' she said in a TikTok video.
'If people don't have large groups of friends or any friends. Let's not jump to conclusions on why that is.'
And she's not alone - thousands of other Aussies have experienced the struggle of making new friends.
The frustrated young Aussie referenced trends seen on TikTok , including: 'When you find out the reason why the girl who has no friends has no friends.'
'Making friends is hard, I've given up,' one woman admitted in the comments.
'As a girl with no friends I feel this in my soul. I'm crying with you,' another said.
'I struggle to find my people too,' a third wrote.
Another added: 'I can so relate. My friendship circles have always been small my entire life. Even recently losing the strongest friendship I had in a while made me question myself, but we are so worthy.'
'I've never had friends for long periods, and now I have none,' one more wrote.
She often worries about other people's judgement but tries to block this out and ignore it. 'I'm trying to be confident to find my people,' Ms Oakes said
Earlier this week another young Aussie revealed the terrifying reality of trying to make new friends as an adult.
Grace, a paramedic from Melbourne, is used to keeping cool in high-pressure situations but when it comes to making friends her palms start to sweat.
And she's not alone, Millennials and Gen Zs have revealed meeting new people gives them crippling anxiety.
Grace found herself needing to expand her circle when many of her friends started moving into the next phase of their lives by getting married and having babies.
Now the 30-year-old has realised just how difficult meeting new people can be as an adult.
While it was an easy 'norm' for older generations, it's something Millennials and Gen Z struggle to get it right.
In February Grace stepped outside her comfort zone by asking a retail worker if she'd like to get a coffee.
'I was so nervous. I felt like I was asking someone out on a date, and I was so worried about being rejected,' she told FEMAIL.
Grace, from Melbourne, is trying to meet new people - something thousands of Millennials and Gen Z are wanting to do right now
In February the 30-year-old stepped outside her comfort zone by asking a retail worker if she'd like to get a coffee. 'I was so nervous. I felt like I was asking someone out on a date, and I was so worried about being rejected!' she told FEMAIL
'I have never really had to ask someone out on a friend date before, so it was new territory.'
She had spoken to the employee several times while making purchases from the store. To her surprise, the young woman said she 'needs friends too'.
Grace said the coffee 'date' went 'amazingly' well and the two have become close friends.
'She already knew bits and pieces of what was going on in my life because I had been buying outfits for different reasons and events - we got along like a house on fire,' she said.
'She came to my 30th birthday, we took our partners out on a double date to the Queen Vic night markets, and she is coming around for girls night this weekend to meet some of my other friends.'
Grace said she's always struggled with social anxiety and have never been an big drinker or someone who went to a lot of parties.
She met her current friends at school, university, and work, and hopes to meet new people in other ways such as by sharing an interest or hobby.
Grace said the coffee 'date' went 'amazingly' well and the two have become close friends
'I have been through some of the hardest things in my life over the past four years and it was so incredibly difficult to go through because I felt so alone,' she said.
'Although I had a few friends, they were all getting married and having babies and I felt like it was really hard to find time with them.
'Being able to find some friends that are more in line with where I am in my life has been amazing.'
