Bayou Renaissance Man

This news is a couple of days old, but I only just came across it.  After I stopped laughing, I thought I'd share it here for others who might not have heard it yet.

It's emerged that soon after entering the White House, somebody in the Administration decided that whenever Mrs. Biden entered an official function, she needed her own theme music, much as the President is greeted by "Hail To The Chief".

Somebody - presumably in the Marine Corps Band, which plays at the White House - came up with this "Fanfare for the First Lady".

Only recently did somebody note that the Fanfare sounds uncannily similar to the theme music for the 1960's TV comedy series "F Troop", about a hapless cavalry troop in the Old West that can't do anything right and gets everything wrong.  See - or, rather, listen - for yourself.

Seems to me that the Fanfare is nothing more or less than a (very) thinly disguised rendition of the F Troop theme.  Given the performance of the Biden administration, I daresay it's a pretty fair tribute to its accomplishments, too!

I wonder if the composer of the Fanfare was able to get his tongue out of his cheek after completing it . . . ?

Peter

I was interested to learn that today's enormous US chicken industry started with a simple ordering error.  This video was originally on the BBC, but this copy has been posted to YouTube.

Just a minor mistake . . . or was that a poultry error?

Peter

... according to Jennie Breeden and her "The Devil's Panties" comic strip.  Click the image to be taken to a larger version at her Web page.

"Renewed our vows".  Gigglesnort!

Peter

Courtesy of Pascal Fervor, commenting at Liberty's Torch, we find this object lesson in reality.  Click the image for a larger view.

Next time a climate alarmist tries to pull "The seas are rising!" on you, show them that picture, and ask them to explain it.  They won't, of course - because they can't, unless they admit that sea levels on the whole are not rising.

Thank you, ancient Romans!

Peter

It seems an old sword has vanished.  It's deemed by locals (particularly those in the tourist trade) to be the original, real, cross-my-heart-and-hope-to-die, pinky-swear Durandal belonging to the mythically-enhanced, legendary Roland, one of Charlemagne's military governors during the 8th century AD.  The Telegraph reports:

It is southern France’s answer to Excalibur, the mythical sword that King Arthur legendarily pulled from a rock to obtain the British throne.

However, Rocamadour has no idea who managed to wrench its famed Durandal sword from the stone in which it had been embedded for centuries, particularly because it was 10 metres (32.5 feet) off the ground.

All the town knows is that one of its main tourist attractions has vanished. It is presumed stolen and an investigation has been launched.

Durandal was the sword of Roland, a legendary paladin (knight) and officer of Charlemagne in French epic literature. According to the legend, Durandal was indestructible and the sharpest sword in all existence, capable of cutting through giant boulders with a single strike.

Its magical qualities are recounted in the 11th-century epic poem The Song of Roland, the oldest surviving major work of French literature.

. . .

Medieval “myth” has it that before it was given to Roland, Charlemagne received Durandal from an angel. Before his death at the Battle of Roncevaux Pass, Roland is said to have tried in vain to break it on the rocks to prevent his enemies from seizing it. He finally threw it into the air to save it. Miraculously travelling hundreds of kilometres, it is said to have embedded itself in the rock face of Rocamadour.

There's more at the link.

I can't help laughing at the fuss and bother.  It's patently obvious to anybody with two working brain cells to rub together that Rocamadour installed a fake Durandal to attract medieval tourists, who were rather more credulous than their modern equivalents.  It's the same sort of fake as the "pieces cut from the sail of Saint Peter's fishing-boat!" that pedlars sold to pilgrims, or the fabled "Holy House of Loreto", the purported original home of the Virgin Mary.  It supposedly flew (powered by angels) from Nazareth in the Holy Land, via two other locations, until it landed in Loreto, Italy (which proceeded to make a fortune from pilgrims thronging there to see it).

(Perhaps Boeing might like to hire the angels concerned?  They need all the help they can get right now!)

So, a long-standing fake has been stolen.  So what???  Just whip up a convincing copy of it, put it back in place, and Bob's your uncle.  It's not as if the stolen fake has any value, intrinsic or otherwise.  "Flew from Roncevaux to Rocamadour", my fundamental jujube!

(On the other hand, if President Biden turns up wielding the stolen Durandal copy during his next debate with former President Trump, all sorts of things might get more interesting!  It might help his cutting remarks . . . )

Peter

Found on MeWe:

(Presumably referring to this study.)

And all of us who've "been up the sharp end" in our joint and several ways nod our heads in agreement, and say (loudly, with feeling, in well-lubricated chorus):

Of course it is!  You don't think we'd have been there without being demented, do you?

Sheesh!!!

Peter

I guess this post could also be titled "Headline Of The Day":

A man was arrested Monday after he allegedly used fake IDs and information to make purchases at several St. Tammany Parish stores. 

Later that same day, his believed accomplice was also arrested for using a fake ID to try and bond him out of jail. 

One would think that, knowing your buddy had just been arrested over fake ID's, you might perhaps consider that the cops would be familiar with them and looking for more, wouldn't you?

Oh, well.  Looks like itinerant criminals are now in the business of providing entertainment to otherwise bored cops in Louisiana!

Peter

A news report triggered a major flashback memory of my childhood.

The Hudson River Estuary Program fisheries staff reeled in a giant fish out of the Hudson River in New York last week.

The Atlantic sturgeon spreads six feet in length, weighing around 220 pounds, according to a Facebook post from the New York State Department of Environmental Conservation (NYS DEC).

It was caught near Hyde Park, about 80 miles from New York City.

. . .

The staff suspected the unique fish to be a female that had not yet spawned.

Atlantic sturgeons typically spend most of the year in the ocean, but the adults move in the Hudson during this time of year to spawn, the NYS DEC post said. 

Atlantic sturgeons are the Hudson River’s biggest fish, and New York State’s largest sturgeon species, the post said.

There's more at the link.

And the flashback?

Apparently, during World War II, American servicemen brought to the European theater a large number of songs from their homes.  My father, in turn, brought some of them home with him.  One of them, which my father used to hum (and, when my mother wasn't within hearing, sing), was "The Virgin Sturgeon Song".  The first verse is sort-of-suitable for polite company, so here it is:

There are many other verses, most less polite (and the lyrics at the link leave out all of the really "military verses" that Dad learned - he wouldn't sing those unless he was absolutely sure we kids were out of earshot!  I had to wait until I was in uniform myself before he'd share them.)  If you do an Internet search, you'll find several recordings of the song, some less... er... raw than others.  No, I'm not going to embed one here!  There are ladies among my readership!

It was weird.  As I read that report, I could literally hear my long-dead father's voice in my head, singing the Virgin Sturgeon Song softly to himself as he repaired a piece of furniture or worked on our car.  It was almost unconscious for him, a sort of meditative mouth music.  The song was also one of the less... ah... impolite pieces he brought back from the war, so if Mom caught him singing it (particularly in the presence of us kids), he wasn't in as much trouble as he would be if she caught him singing "The Rape of the Sphinx" or "The Old Bazaar in Cairo".  (An expurgated - highly expurgated - version of the latter may be heard here.)

Ah . . . memories!

Peter

Thank you all for your kind wishes as I recover from surgery.  Some of the comments about catheters, etc. reminded me of an incident with a friend that still makes me laugh whenever I think about it.

He had some sort of bladder problem that required him to be fitted with a catheter and a urine bag.  So far, so good . . . until the first morning after he returned home.  His twin daughters, aged about 5 or 6 at the time, came running into the bedroom and jumped on the bed to be with Mom and Dad - and one of them landed right on his (full) urine bag.

His comment:  "Have you ever tried to pee backwards?  It sheds a new and horrible light on the human condition!"

I had to sympathize, even while laughing my tochus off at his predicament!

Peter

First prize to whoever dreamed up this position statement.

https://x.com/TheMistressRox/status/1801556745191350558

Brilliant!

Peter

I'm sure many of my readers will be familiar with the (in)famous exchange of letters in the case of Arkell v. Pressdram, 1971.  Those who aren't will find the details at the link.  (Profanity alert:  lawyers aren't always polite!)

I was reminded of that well-known case by this tweet yesterday, largely by the inclusion of a word that I've censored (given that this is a family-friendly blog, most of the time).  Clickit to biggit.

I wonder if they'd also assert an equal IP right to the entire slogan, including the censored word?  That would make just about as much sense!  It's also like the computer games company that tried to trademark the expression "space marines" (despite its having been in use since the 1930's), or the comic publishers that trademarked the term "superhero".

Suffice it to say that I think the LA Police Foundation deserves the mockery.

Peter

It seems pro-Palestinian and pro-Israeli demonstrators have at least one thing in common.  Click this link to view video and listen to their chants.

Who says the country is too divided to be united?

Peter

My friend in meatspace and the blogosphere, Larry Correia, has been heard to say that he really wants to buy a tank.  Being a bestselling author, his income can probably stretch to it, too:  but being a very large gentleman, I think he'd have a problem fitting into anything small.  However, I think the solution may be at hand, in terms of both his size and his wallet.

Spain is selling off its remaining M60 tanks, of 1960's vintage.

If you've ever fancied owning a tank, or are in the market to add to your own private armor collection, now's your chance. As it turns out, Spain has put a number of its M60 tanks up for auction, with the base price for the lot starting at just over $50,000. The sale of the tanks, the condition of which remains very much unclear, has prompted speculation about potential buyers, and whether they could end up in Ukraine or the scrap yard.

The entire lot of tanks has a stated “base price” of €46,924.93 [US $50,721.73 at current exchange rates], according to the official notice, which also includes details on another auction of anchor chains.

There's more at the link.

That price is not per tank, by the way:  it's for all the surplus tanks.  It's only the opening bid price, of course.  I'm sure the final sale price will be higher.  Nevertheless, those tanks are basically being sold at scrap-metal prices, and I'm sure that doesn't include their cannons or ammunition.  I don't know how many are on auction now.  Spain bought about 300 M60's in total, but until recently had only 16 still operational, replacing the rest of its fleet with German-made Leopard 2's.  Nevertheless, even 16 would be a handy source of spare parts to keep them operational in the hands of a hobbyist owner.

Whoever wants them will have to move fast.  Bids are due by April 22.  Quick, get out your wallets and bank statements and start counting!

Peter

I was reminded of an old XKCD comic by a post on MeWe yesterday.  With all the current kerfuffle over Israel, Gaza and what have you, it seemed particularly appropriate.  Click the image to be taken to a larger version at the strip's Web page.

I don't care whose side you're on in the Middle East dispute, I think we can all agree that's funny!

Peter

From Larry Lambert:

When you put a potato in a microwave oven and punch the “pizza” button, and it is still a potato, it will help you understand how gender works.

Indeed!

Peter

Marketwatch is in a bit of a froth at the prospect of President Trump suddenly becoming much, much richer.

Away from the headlines, Donald Trump has just made a staggering sum of money, all of it driven by the publicity from his campaign for the White House. (A terribly, terribly cynical person might even suggest that is part of the point.)

How much? Forget these fines, which add up to less than $500 million. Trump is suddenly on track for a windfall of nearly $4 billion. And he has made most of it just in the five weeks since his big win in the Iowa caucuses put him in pole position for the Republican presidential nomination.

The windfall is from the forthcoming IPO of his social-media platform, called Truth Social, which he launched — amid massive derision from the mainstream media, I might add — in 2021 after he was kicked off Twitter following the events of Jan. 6, 2021. 

. . .

Under terms of the deal, which has been in the pipeline since 2021, Trump personally is set to end up with 79 million shares in the company when the deal is complete, possibly as soon as this quarter ... That values Trump’s personal stake in the company at $3.8 billion — up $2.5 billion just since winning in Iowa over Ron DeSantis and Nikki Haley, et al. Who says it costs money to run for president?

There's more at the link.

I have no axe to grind in this matter.  I'm not a Trump fanboi, and I have serious reservations about the prospects for another Trump term as President;  but I accept that at present, he's the only meaningful candidate for the White House next year.  I also accept that the legal actions against him are nothing less than lawfare, a deliberate and prima facie corrupt attempt to knock him out as a political candidate to the benefit of other candidates.  They're so over-the-top it's ridiculous, and I hope that those responsible for them (and those who impose such ridiculous penalties) face legal consequences for their malfeasance.

It would be too delicious if the establishment hits President Trump with multi-hundreds-of-millions of dollars in fines and penalties, only to find that all the publicity and negativity they've stirred up produces billions of dollars in windfall income for him.  Talk about the biter bit - not to mention the fines paid from the profits!

Pass the popcorn . . .

Peter

From XKCD.  Click the image for a larger view, and click here to go to the cartoon's Web page.

If you aren't reading XKCD regularly, you're missing out on a great comic strip.  It's updated two to three times every week.  Highly recommended.

Peter

From The Guardian in the UK:

Missing monkey trapped by yorkshire pudding in Scotland

I did a double-take when I read that, imagining a sentient animal-trapping Yorkshire pudding sneaking up on an unsuspecting simian.  Turns out it was simpler than that.

Two pebbly droppings deposited on her patio are all that Stephanie Bunyan has to remind her of Thursday morning’s celebrity guest. Honshu the missing macaque was finally captured in Bunyan’s garden after five days and four nights on the run and after drone search technology was rendered useless by blustery weather. In the end, it was the yorkshire pudding that got him.

Bunyan likes to drink her morning coffee looking out on to her peaceful terraced garden, which is decorated with tinkling wind chimes and boasts an array of bird feeders.

There were peanuts in the feeders but on Wednesday night she put out some leftover yorkshire pudding. In the morning it was gone. And just after 10am “there he was at the top of the steps, looking in the window”.

The desire to capture her visitor on camera was powerful but she knew she had to get hold of Highland wildlife park straight away. Within 10 minutes of her call to its dedicated monkey hotline, the search drone operators had arrived, and minutes later the park keepers.

By then the macaque was hopping back and forth off the low roof of her sun room and playing in the gutters. It took some time for the rangers to line up their desired tranquilliser dart shot – when one attempt failed, the macaque “bit it and threw it away”, Bunyan said.

But the next shot was true and the doped monkey was whisked away for examination by the park’s vet.

There's more at the link.

I still think a sentient, predatory Yorkshire pudding would have been more fun . . . something like the Goon Show's 1955 "International Christmas Pudding" episode!

Peter

This "Foxes In Love" cartoon made me laugh out loud.  Click the image to be taken to a larger view at the comic's Web page.

My wife and I are both cheese-lovers, and enjoy finding and sampling new varieties when we get the chance (not always easy in northern Texas, but when we visit other cities, we look for opportunities).  However, neither of us enjoy the stinkier varieties of cheese.  That may make us gastronomic Philistines, but I've never been able to enjoy chewing and swallowing something while holding my nose!

I enjoy "Foxes In Love".  It's on my daily cartoon list.

Peter

Found on MeWe, and too funny not to share.  Clickit to biggit.

"The good Lord willin' and the crick don't rise", as the saying goes, our weekly Memes That Made Me Laugh feature post will be back next Monday.

Peter